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[heavensnight]

open post.

Lilith, or "Black Moon Lilith," is a point in your birth chart that reveals your personality's hidden or taboo parts. It indicates where you've kept your true desires secret to avoid criticism or rejection. This hidden side, often called your shadow, represents everything society considers forbidden or unacceptable.

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random textie.

[solids]

hey um so....sorry I can't pick you up tonight. this gig is killing me.

but I wanted to tell you something.

[heavensnight]

pouting. I'll miss you. 🩷 Tom will be happy to be my chauffeur again anyway.

What did you want to tell me?

[solids]

I'll miss you too.

( which is part of the reason why he's feeling a bit more bold about this. )

so you and I are, like dating, right?

[heavensnight]

[she's smiling. he can't see how much she is but she feels like she some girl flirting with her first boyfriend.]

Do you want us to be?


[she's teasing him because that's what she does. but for Adam, that took some guts so she quickly texts again.]

Because I want us to be.

[solids]

this is pretty fucking silly of me, but you know how I am.

( he was [unbeknownst to him] feeling exactly the same way. why did it feel like this was the first time he was actually dating someone? )

well uh I want more than that.

— au thread

[hurtling]

( whether it was a new medical bill piling in, a new verbal put down he had to deal with, or a new wave of emotions that suffocated his mind and memory, james was slowly crumbling towards a new low. he so selfishly believed that one night he had with maria, where tensions grew hot and heavy would be the last one. it ended poorly by his own miserable undoing—

it was a shame really, it wasn't his intent to make her feel like a warm body he used for his own sake. yet his inability to properly express himself and his refusal to be too physically close to her led to that.

since then things had cooled off significantly, with him still trying to keep up the same polite familiarity they had but it was obvious maria was coming in to care for mary and nothing more. tonight was going to be the night things spiraled back down to that rock bottom, james would make sure of it.

so with two beers down, his heart racing, and his loneliness at an all time high, he reached for his phone and worked up the courage to text maria. mary was heading towards the end of her life and had gotten into another verbal fight with james, flowers and harsh words writhing away on the floor of their home.

finally he sent those words to maria to initiate what he wanted. )

maria, it's james. are you busy tonight?

I thought we could talk a bit.

( in the end, he was a coward. )

[heavensnight]

[for Maria, it was as simple as she didn't want James to blame her for what had happened. twist this in his mind that she had orchestrated the whole thing. that night was both of them. tension and desire culminating into the worst betrayal either of them could have committed.

and she had wanted it again. as wrong as it was, she had wanted him in her again because it had been hot. his desperation, the allure of something taboo...god she wanted it. but not if it meant James putting responsibility on her. they both had to accept that this was something they both wanted. she wasn't letting it happen again otherwise. so she didn't. she kept it at a friendly distance, the way it should be between in-laws. even Mary, who was quickly spiraling down, had asked if she and James were okay.

before following up with "did he turn you down?" and how tempting it would have been to say no. he fucked me. how tempting to fuck James for that comment alone...

she had been free that night when she sees the text from James. she doesn't actually know what he's asking for and assumes this must be about Mary.]

is mary okay?

[hurtling]

( his cryptic message of course was interpreted in that way and there's a small wave of anxiety in his stomach as he thought about how to approach this. he had really wanted her to read his mind in a way—

to put in the work, he so desperately ran from. unfortunately it seemed like he would have to be the one to bridge that gap. so with a soft sigh, he looked down at his screen and began to type away. )

yes mary is fine, no problems here.

( as fine as a dying woman could be. )

I wanted to talk about us.

[heavensnight]

[she looks at the message, partly surprised and partly annoyed. now? he wanted to discuss this now?]

ok

[tempting to leave it at that but she doesn't.]

what do you want to talk about James?

random text.

[solids]

hey, promise not to laugh at me okay?

[heavensnight]

what if I'm laughing because I think you're cute and you make me happy?

[solids]

I guess I can forgive that but—

wait you think I’m cute?

( have you seen him m’am and his apartment?? )

[heavensnight]

I think you're the cutest babe

[men usually didn't like being called cute but she'd realized Adam probably would consider it the compliment it was.]

expedition 33 spoilers--maria 🤝 verso

[heavensnight]

[it's not so typical for Maria to find someone like her. often she would joke, call herself one of a kind. it seemed nobody else could really understand what it was like to be what she was.

and then she'd met Verso. plenty alike and yet different. different enough for a conversation and yet alike enough for commiserating. she welcomed the companionship and enjoyed being able to talk to him. it was nice, not feeling like she was so alone. having another person like her.

when she saw Verso enter the bar, she waved him down.]

Over here, twinnie.

[fromfire]

[ For so long, he felt trapped in his own grief. He mourns memories woven into him; a life that he never lived.

His family did not share his sentiments, however. They stepped in time with the existence they were crafted into and said they felt loved. Even though they were the same as him, they were different. Perhaps it is because they were not born from grief.

Perhaps, that is why she's different -- she's born from a wish.

Verso doesn't mull over how he came to meet her, but only feels the loneliness of his existence melt in her presence. He can only hope he offers her the same sense of comfort.

What is it that Esquie would say? "Same same, but different."

A smile floats on his lips as he hears her call out to him. She sees him as him; he sees her as her. They are only themselves - and that is enough.

He joins her at the bar with a wider, teasing smile. ]

Saved a spot for me, did you? I'm honored.

[heavensnight]

[often Maria felt like she was drowning in loneliness. it felt overwhelming and sometimes she knew it was her own. but sometimes, she wondered if it was not Mary's own darkness shining in her as well. it was difficult to know, to understand. she never quite got it herself.

but what was there to understand when she was with someone like Verso? she likes him. he can be charming and yeah, he does make things feel so much less. less lonely, less confusing, less everything. all at once. she appreciates him and though she's never quite the one to make things too serious (and she thought maybe he appreciated that just as well), it was something they both inherently knew. but simply, he made things make sense in a way not many could do for her.]

Yeah, really had to fight 'em all back to save you a seat. Be grateful. [she waves to the literal nothingness that was Heaven's Night with a smile. Maria couldn't understand how they found each other, how all of this worked, but it was a gift. she didn't look a gift horse in the mouth.]

I have whiskey. [she moves the glass she poured over to him.]

[fromfire]

Oh, I am.

[ He keeps his eyes on her instead of the emptiness of the room. His mouth slides easily into a smile. Verso hid truth with lies; he guarded and controlled his truth, holding all cards as close to his chest as he could. But he can't do that to Maria. Not when she's so like him.

Aline had said she couldn't look at Alicia because her pain, her existence, was a broken mirror staring back. Yet he feels only warmth and comfort in Maria; they're so much the same that he wonders how this all happened.

A gift from Renoir? A means of apology for everything? Something to hold onto before oblivion, perhaps? Or could it be the place that she's from? It's hard to say and hard for them to know. They were only pawns to a game that's been moving long before their pieces were even set down. ]

As always, you know the way to my heart. [ He graciously takes the glass; he turns it slightly with the tips of his fingers before properly grasping onto it. A quick swallow before it's set back on the counter. He closes his eyes and scrunches his face up - breathes out a grateful sigh at the burn and drink.

Opening one eye, he flashes yet another smile. ] So, how have you been?

[ For them, that's a heavy question -- yet he wants her to know he cares about the answer. ]

― camgirl/of au

[solids]

( it'd been six months now since adam had followed maria's instagram and had gone down the rabbit hole of her tree links and had found links for more questionable, more spicier content. unlike most of her fans who immediately followed and shelled out the big bucks, adam had actually thought about this for a long time. he'd never really gotten too involved in the whole 'social media' side of things, but he made an account to follow a girl he'd gone out with, and who....unsurprisingly ghosted him.

he didn't fret about it, it was expected, anticipated even. if he'd set his expectations low, he'd only be pleasantly happy when things went his way anyways.

what he hadn't been expecting was to come across maria's account while mindlessly scrolling during one of his work stakeouts. it was late at night and surprisingly she'd been on the discovery page, rocking a tight leopard dress with a '#vintage' as the firs tag. she was beautiful― strands of bleach blonde hair with soft pinks woven into the ends, and a soft expression that appealed to adam. of course he'd follow from that first like until now. as time went on, he'd occasionally check social media and her page, finally deciding to subscribe to all of the websites she had linked up.

it seemed his insistent and persistent 'leveling up' of his subscription tiers over the months finally paid off. he'd pick up significantly more work as of late [not quite paying attention to how this new job was putting him in a perilous situation], using his spare money to set aside towards savings, to feed his cat, and of course to send money to this model every month. all was well; he was smart enough to know she wasn't his, she'd probably never talk to him but he was okay with that. he was supporting someone he liked and truthfully? the exclusive photos and videos were worth it.

she was worth it.

but one day within the inbox of his onlyfans account, he received a message directly from her. apparently top subscribers got a private show [he couldn't help but wonder just how private], but he was willing to see it. especially since she asked how he was and what time he was free for it. so sitting in the driver seat of his beat-up corolla, he looked at the message with a soft smile before he hit reply: )

hey :)

I'm uh good, you know. thank you by the way for this uh...I guess I'd be free tomorrow around 3pm pst you know? if you don't mind, I'd love to see the show. otherwise I'm okay without it, just happy to support a content creator I like.

[heavensnight]

[it isn't exactly rewarding work but it certainly pays the bills, as she would tell anybody that ever asked her about her job. she had done stripping for a bit but it didn't pay nearly as well as this gig did and had much better hours. a schedule she could make her own and all she had to do was keep up with her social media. it was easier than she thought it would be and the biggest downfall was just the weirdos. the amount of times men would confess their love, say they were leaving their wife/girlfriend for her, or when the angry wife/girlfriend would message her and blame her for their crumbling relationship. but it was okay. she was great at customer service.

it really wasn't so bad. a stream every night doing whatever was voted for, offering different sexy pics for her different tiers, and she had more than enough money that she was comfortable. really, who was she to complain?

Maria knew part of this thing was you had to make the ones willing to pay the most the most happy. that was just common sense and so she messaged those ones. only ten. though when she messaged one, she realized it was the same username on all of her accounts. he followed her everywhere. dedicated fan, she pondered. some of the other fans had tried messaging her before, and so she knew them from their notoriety. but this one seemed to stay in the shadows. huh.

when she got his message back, she laughed. content creator, huh? well. she was that. this one seemed shy. something about him made her change her idea. she was just going to do one stream for the lucky ones and try to plan it around a good time for everybody.

but this Adam could have his own private show, she decided.]

awww you're very sweet! so you should be rewarded ;) tomorrow 3pm it is. any requests?

[solids]

( there’s a soft glow from the street lamp above his car, flickering on and off as the next message came through. he hadn’t been expecting a response this fast— actually, he hadn’t been expecting any kind of response at all really. his hopes were low and elsewhere, all he needed was to logon and see what she was up to and his day was instantly better. he didn’t need much more than that; sure somewhere in the back of his mind he thought it was pathetic but he was supporting someone he liked.

even if their content was questionable to most, but he was grounded. she was working and he was a client, much like his own line of work. he got it, his clients also tried turning to him for emotional support when he revealed the truth in the photos.

this? this was a great way to alleviate stress. with a soft smile he read over her message and thought about her question. )

oh that’s perfect, appreciate it.

well let’s see, have you played that new game yet? the horror one in space? I thought it was cool when you gamed in your last streaming session uh-

( she had been stripping away a layer of her clothes each time the boss beat her character. not that he was suggesting she do that again but…)

well anyways it’s your stream, just happy to watch

[heavensnight]

do you like to game? I can if you want. I get scared easily with horror games so every time I scream I strip?

it's just going to be you and me so it's your stream actually. might as well enjoy it. 💖

[Maria didn't pretend to think that Adam was 'supporting' her for some innocent reason. no, he was like the other men that watched her and paid for her nudes.

but it was fine. it was give and take and she knew her role. she was just another pair of tits to these guys and Maria knew that. even if there were countless love confessions in her inbox, it wasn't for her. they didn't know her at all.]

etraya au // text

[opheliac]

uh, hi? is this maria?

[heavensnight]

thats me 💖

[opheliac]

[a little heart picture? yuck...but—]

cool. i guess. anyway, vander gave me ur number. something about helping me with settling in because he has his hands tied?

[heavensnight]

[unfortunately the pink sparkly heart is just part of the package that is Maria.]

sounds like his subtle way of having us spend some time together

and I'll be subtle and say I made my schedule totally free